Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Wordless Wednesday: Lately (the crutches edition)
I haven't used my camera much while on crutches, but thought I'd share a few pictures of summertime fun that I have captured on my phone!
Monday, July 21, 2014
Ain't No {Fat} Shame in My Game!
On Friday the 13th of June, I broke my ankle. The incident was, and continues to be, painful and has altered my life significantly this summer. I realize that I have plenty to be thankful for, like the fact that I won't need surgery and that my friends, Tracy and Steve, have let me move in with them while I recuperate. But, I really miss my normal routine! I miss my apartment and evening walks with the dog. I miss being able to answer the door when my delivery food arrives and standing up to take a shower. I miss time spent alone and my independence. One of the most surprising realizations, however, has been how much I miss my morning sessions at the gym with my sister.
Danielle and I recommitted to the gym in March. It wasn't easy to get used to the alarm clock sounding off at 5:15 am, but having someone to rely on for a backup call/text when that snooze button was winning the war against my self resolve was a huge help. By the second week, I found myself looking forward to my pre-work workouts. I didn't realize it at first, but there was something very different about my approach to the gym this time around; my primary focus wasn't on seeing the numbers on the scale go down, it was on fitness. I was most interested in challenging my body to do something it had never really done before- I wanted to be able to run. Each week, I relished in the achievement of running a little bit further or faster than I had the week before. I think that this difference was my key to finding enjoyment in the gym, and I am sad that I won't realize my goal of running my first 5K this summer.
Not only had I discovered a new pastime that I enjoyed, but suddenly the lens through which I saw myself in the mirror was changing. I was drawing self confidence from how I felt physically, and that was shaping how I related to my appearance. I was stronger and more fit, and that felt darned good despite the fact that the scale might not have budged. In fact, I had stopped weighing myself- that's how little the scale mattered. Why should I rain on my own parade just because I hadn't lost the weight I set out to lose last year? I was kicking ass on the treadmill, and that's what mattered most because that's what made me feel awesome! I decided to consciously eschew the fat shaming mindset that I had internalized over the years, and instead I would celebrate my fitness accomplishments.
I'm fortunate that I started tapping into this mindset before my accident; it has helped me to remember to be kind to myself throughout the healing process. There have been occasional moments of panic: "But how will I fit into a bridesmaid's dress in September?!" (Answer: I'm going to buy a dress that fits and makes me feel fabulous!); and "Should I starve myself until I can get back to the gym?" (Answer: Heck no! I'm going to need nutrients in order to speed up my recovery, and ice cream packs some great calcium.); and "Do these crutches make me look fat?" (Just kidding. I knew right away that the crutches made me look tough.). I have had to cling firmly to this new form of self love and self acceptance that isn't predicated on the size of my clothing, while surrounded by influences that insist that my current size is a problem. I cannot allow myself to spiral into a pit of self loathing over my broken ankle weight gain. I can choose to focus on the memory of that post-gym high. I know that when I'm off of the crutches and out of the AirCast I will relish a return to the gym, and I will slowly and safely start working towards that 5K goal once again.
When I first created this blog, the core purpose was to document my experiences with Weight Watchers and to share delicious and healthy recipes. It evolved into something much more than that, and I love filling my little corner of the web with food, photography, travel tales, and reviews of my favorite places and products. I recently canceled my Weight Watchers subscription, because counting points isn't working for me at this point in my journey through life and Providence. As a result, the format and content of this blog might change a little over the coming months; for example, I won't be able to provide you with the PointsPlus values of new recipes. I do need to continue to make a commitment to my health, so I will continue to share related content here. I simply realized that it was time to try something new and, after some careful deliberation, I have decided to try the Herbalife plan. I found a great coach through my Facebook friends list, and I'm currently waiting for my first order to arrive.
As with the gym, I'm approaching this new plan with a focus on my overall health and well being and won't be obsessed with the numbers on the scale. My activity level is extremely limited right now, so I'm hoping to avoid letting my health deteriorate too much while my ankle heals by focusing my attention on a balanced diet. Whether the pounds come off fast or slow on Herbalife, I can assure you that I'm going to wear my horizontally striped fatkini proudly this summer because, for whatever reason, I feel like a glamorous pinup girl when I wear it; and I won't let the fat shaming majority make me feel bad about that.
 |
| The pit and the aftermath |
Danielle and I recommitted to the gym in March. It wasn't easy to get used to the alarm clock sounding off at 5:15 am, but having someone to rely on for a backup call/text when that snooze button was winning the war against my self resolve was a huge help. By the second week, I found myself looking forward to my pre-work workouts. I didn't realize it at first, but there was something very different about my approach to the gym this time around; my primary focus wasn't on seeing the numbers on the scale go down, it was on fitness. I was most interested in challenging my body to do something it had never really done before- I wanted to be able to run. Each week, I relished in the achievement of running a little bit further or faster than I had the week before. I think that this difference was my key to finding enjoyment in the gym, and I am sad that I won't realize my goal of running my first 5K this summer.
Not only had I discovered a new pastime that I enjoyed, but suddenly the lens through which I saw myself in the mirror was changing. I was drawing self confidence from how I felt physically, and that was shaping how I related to my appearance. I was stronger and more fit, and that felt darned good despite the fact that the scale might not have budged. In fact, I had stopped weighing myself- that's how little the scale mattered. Why should I rain on my own parade just because I hadn't lost the weight I set out to lose last year? I was kicking ass on the treadmill, and that's what mattered most because that's what made me feel awesome! I decided to consciously eschew the fat shaming mindset that I had internalized over the years, and instead I would celebrate my fitness accomplishments.
 |
| Ain't no shame in Whitney's game, or mine! |
I'm fortunate that I started tapping into this mindset before my accident; it has helped me to remember to be kind to myself throughout the healing process. There have been occasional moments of panic: "But how will I fit into a bridesmaid's dress in September?!" (Answer: I'm going to buy a dress that fits and makes me feel fabulous!); and "Should I starve myself until I can get back to the gym?" (Answer: Heck no! I'm going to need nutrients in order to speed up my recovery, and ice cream packs some great calcium.); and "Do these crutches make me look fat?" (Just kidding. I knew right away that the crutches made me look tough.). I have had to cling firmly to this new form of self love and self acceptance that isn't predicated on the size of my clothing, while surrounded by influences that insist that my current size is a problem. I cannot allow myself to spiral into a pit of self loathing over my broken ankle weight gain. I can choose to focus on the memory of that post-gym high. I know that when I'm off of the crutches and out of the AirCast I will relish a return to the gym, and I will slowly and safely start working towards that 5K goal once again.
 |
| Cheers to that! |
When I first created this blog, the core purpose was to document my experiences with Weight Watchers and to share delicious and healthy recipes. It evolved into something much more than that, and I love filling my little corner of the web with food, photography, travel tales, and reviews of my favorite places and products. I recently canceled my Weight Watchers subscription, because counting points isn't working for me at this point in my journey through life and Providence. As a result, the format and content of this blog might change a little over the coming months; for example, I won't be able to provide you with the PointsPlus values of new recipes. I do need to continue to make a commitment to my health, so I will continue to share related content here. I simply realized that it was time to try something new and, after some careful deliberation, I have decided to try the Herbalife plan. I found a great coach through my Facebook friends list, and I'm currently waiting for my first order to arrive.
As with the gym, I'm approaching this new plan with a focus on my overall health and well being and won't be obsessed with the numbers on the scale. My activity level is extremely limited right now, so I'm hoping to avoid letting my health deteriorate too much while my ankle heals by focusing my attention on a balanced diet. Whether the pounds come off fast or slow on Herbalife, I can assure you that I'm going to wear my horizontally striped fatkini proudly this summer because, for whatever reason, I feel like a glamorous pinup girl when I wear it; and I won't let the fat shaming majority make me feel bad about that.
 |
| I must thank Carol Rossetti for her images and her words! |
Friday, April 11, 2014
Ch-Ch-Changes!
Things have been quiet around these parts lately. I have been working hard on the "Grows" component of "A BermuDiana Grows in Providence." In early March, despite being happily employed in my current position, I took a chance and applied for a new job. The last month has been consumed with learning, prepping, interviewing, negotiating and, last but not least, decision making. This is exhausting stuff for a change-averse introvert to process, so I had to take a small step back from blogging and social media.
Today, however, I'm thrilled to announce that I've proudly accepted the promotion, and on May 5th I'll start my new job! I'm so grateful to have had the support of friends, family and colleagues throughout each phase, and I'm excited to take this next step in my career.
Today, however, I'm thrilled to announce that I've proudly accepted the promotion, and on May 5th I'll start my new job! I'm so grateful to have had the support of friends, family and colleagues throughout each phase, and I'm excited to take this next step in my career.
 |
| Big news is best celebrated with bubbles! |
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